Melinda May Deathgoth
Brace yourself for Americas secret weapon of mass depression. Melinda May Deathgoth was born in a small redneck trailer park in the small redneck town of Scroatsville Texas, and has escaped the white walls of the mental institution to save you from a world of Kelly Osbournes, badly written sitcoms and Emo's and crush the sickening sugary lies that distract you from the pointlessness of your existence.
Wise beyond her years, Melinda survived the hell-like horror of high school and shares her disappointment in the form of live poetry. If you ever wanted to crawl into your locker and die, poison your slut of mothers Jack Daniels, screw your therapist or drive a pick up truck through K-Mart in the name of artistic freedom, Melinda is the poet for you. Leave your optimism behind, it is futile!
'Apathetic, bored and faintly contemptuous' Lydia Towsey, chair of Arts in Mental Health Organisation
'A lethal mixture of Wednesday Addams, Marla Singer from Fight Club and Sylvia Plath' Goth Monthly Magazine.
'She use to be real nice, till she started playin the devils music!' cousin John Bob Billy Boy Root Tooter.
Darla July Daygwar
Hold on to your husbands! Failed Country and Western star Darla July Gidget-Hussy Daygwar may live on a trailer park with a fat loser and a miserable goth daughter, but there was a time she could have been somebody! Liable to sing badly about her glory days to anyone who will listen, especially if theres booze involved, wherever Darla is frivolity, flirtation and restraining orders are sure to follow. Meet the forty-something good time girl whose been on Jerry Springer no less than seven times and had a song written about her by no less than Kris Kristoferson, (though he'll tell you different), once and you'll never forget it, she'll make sure of that, especially if you married!
'I swear sometimes God made Darla just to torture me!' -
'Best pair of fake titties in five states' -
Billy Bob Daygwar, brother
'If she ever come's near me again I won;t be responsable for my actions!' -